Tone Parsons

As you probably know, I’ve been rather bored since I was placed on disability. There are a few things I can do around the house, and I do them, but I have a lot of time to kill otherwise…. so, I picked up a few games to help pass the time.

One of these games was Valve’s “Orange Box” (which is actually 5 games in one package). Of course it contained Half-Life 2 and Episode One (both of which I already had), but it allows you to “gift” them to other people, so I gave my extra copies away.

One of the first things I found was this damn garden gnome, hidden under some shelves in a shed (it’s in the first few minutes of Episode 2). My son said “Keep that…. you’ll need it!”. “No problem, I replied” and began hauling this piece of ceramic crap around with me.

Of course, a large chunk of the game requires you to drive a car, and the damn gnome keeps falling out of thus said car every time you turn, hit a bump, or something starts shooting at you.

So, I’d grab the little bastard and throw him as far ahead as I could with the gravity gun, drive for a few seconds, stop, toss his ass again… repeat for a very long time.

I also learned to save the game and save it often, as I’d occasionally toss the damn thing into an area that I couldn’t get to! I did, however get my reward near the end. I stuffed his ceramic ass into a rocket that was later launched into orbit.

He became the first lawn gnome in space!