Aaaaaaauuuggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got the worst email ever.

From: xxxxxx, Mary
Sent: Tuesday, October 10, 2006 10:16 AM
To: Parsons, Tone
Subject: Web Page

Tone,

My son is trying to design a web page. Can you give us any advise on how to proceed with this?

Thanks,

Mary

She should have just asked me “How do I breathe?“.

My reply:

From: Parsons, Tone
Sent: Tuesday, October 10, 2006 10:23 AM
To: xxxxxx, Mary

Subject: RE: Web Page

Wow… um… that’s a pretty open ended question. There are literally thousands of ways to do it.Um, my first advice is that you know exactly what you want before you do anything. Have in mind what you want it to say, how you want it to look, what pictures you want to use, etc.

Then, build a mock-up, using word, photoshop, whatever you have in mind, so you can be sure you like how it looks.

Finally, convert that into html, php, asp, cfml, or whatever web based language you are planning to use. You’ll need to find out exactly what your webhost supports (html will always work, and most places support php, asp, and cfml).

If he doesn’t know how to code a website up, then I suggest using something like Microsoft Front Page (it comes with Office Pro). That lets you work on the finished product and it writes the code for you, then you upload the whole mess to your webhost.

Without any details I can’t be any more specific.

Mental note to self: never EVER tell people you know anything about computers.

2 thoughts on “Aaaaaaauuuggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!”

  1. Now Tone your should be flattered that someone thought that you would be the best person to ask for computer advice. I know that if you let people they would flood you with questions and run you ragged. We all know that you are the computer guru and we admire you for it. They saw your website and must have admired the format. Remember that imitation is the sincerst form of flattery.
    Yes I also look at the glass and see it as being half full.

  2. I don’t mind helping people when they have a specific question (ie. “how do I make a table?” or “how do you make images float in text?”), but broad questions like the one above are the kind that can suck your whole life away pretty quickly.

    And I’m not a guru… I’m just a hack. It’s all smoke and mirrors. 🙂

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