Tone Parsons

On monday, my appointment with the neurologist FINALLY came around (I made this appointment back in January or February). I expected that he’d give me the usual welcome, tell me about what he does, etc. Instead, I got my most favorite thing in the world…

… a nerve induction test!

Yes indeed, those are all kinds of fun! For those who aren’t familiar with them, let me explain what they do to you:

1. Place electrodes on your body and then hit you from various places with a cattle prod. They measure the amount of time it takes electricity to travel from point A (the cattle prod) to point B (the electrode taped to your body). Make sure to place the electrode and cattle prod as far apart as possible for maximum enjoyment!
2. Stick needles into your body at two points, making sure to sink them deep into the muscles. Apply more electricity, laugh as the patient goes stiff.

So yes indeed… good times all around!!

They were able to do two things for me though. They quantified that I do indeed have all kinds of fucked up goodness for a nervous system, and that my back problems and feet problems are not related (they’re two separate and distinct issues) . So now I have to fast on friday night and go in for blood tests early saturday morning.

w00t!!

On a much brighter note, I saw my dentist today. My teeth are in perfect health!

Oh… and you’re probably wondering about the porn balloon in the title of this post. Let me explain!

Yesterday, I found a blue balloon in my front yard. It had obviously contained helium at one point, but now was just sitting on the ground. There was also writing all over it.

As a child, I remember a few times when we would write notes on (or attach them to) a helium balloon and then release it into the sky, hoping that someone, somewhere, would find it and let me know where it ended up.  Not one phone call or letter ever came from such events.

The balloon I found was slightly different from the ones I sent out as a child. While the handwriting on it is obviously from someone young, I’m pretty sure I never used the phrase “you are stupid – fuck you if you find this bollon.” (actual spelling)

Here’s a few thumbnails (click for an 800×600 view in a new tab/window)

My favorite parts are the transvestite and the large breasted person saying “sagse” (I’m assuming that’s supposed to be “sexy”).

I do know that balloons like this have a maximum range of 200 – 250 miles (depending in temperature, wind, etc), and our winds predominately prevail from the west, so this could have originated as far away as Seattle.  I’d be more willing to bet that it came from Moses Lake, or perhaps as close as Airway Heights.

No matter where it started it’s trip, it ended in my front yard, and found it’s way to the internet.