Tone Parsons

How I entertain my self

With nothing but time on my hands, I have to find things to do other than watch the crap they call “daytime TV” (which, by the way, sucks balls).  So… when I’m not in a drug induced comma, I have a couple of games I play.

The Kingdom of Loathing is a free online game that’s a little different than most games you might have played.  It’s an online adventure game where all the monsters are hand drawn, the writing is incredibly funny, and it takes little to no skill what so ever.  It’s also quite fun (and funny!!).  Here’s an example:

You’re fighting  Quinn “Pencil-Thin Mustache” Shafer, the Guy Who Casually Brushes Up Against You Way Too Often for It to Be a Coincidence

You hear a series of squelching noises coming from behind a dumpster. Even though a faint alarm bell sounds in your head, you walk over to investigate the source of the sound. You see a hobo hunched over, rocking back and forth.

“Uh… are you all right?” you ask. “What are you doing back there?”

The hobo looks up and grins. “Masticatin’!” he says, and sticks out his tongue to show you what’s on it. “I found a whole bin full of bacon grease back here, and I’m masticatin’ with it!”

“That’s absolutely disgusting,” you say.

“‘Masticatin’ means ‘chewin’!'”

“I know that. It’s still disgusting.”

The hobo stands up and drops his bacon grease. “Them’s fightin’ words,” he says.

You get the jump on him.

You examine your staff to figure out which end is the business end, then you hit him with the business end of your staff for 5368 (+33) (+3) (+30) (+3) damage. CRITICAL HIT! SMACK! BONK! ZAP! SPLAT! POW! SOCKO! SOCKO! BONK! BAM! BIFF!

You win the fight!

The other game that eats up a lot of my time is Novus Sector’s RF Online.  It’s a MMORG that doesn’t take much computer horse power to run, is huge, and in my opinion, is a lot of fun.

I run with a guild called the Lumenariesâ„¢ (yeah… we even have our own website!).  My name in game is Bioland and I’m a race of robots called the Accretia.  Basically, you run around killing monsters for items and you also have to battle other races from time to time.

1 comment

1 Comment so far

  1. zipper December 4th, 2008 7:27 pm

    I think my favorite is “Hobo Gristle”.

    “This is a chunk of gristle from a hobo. It’s not entirely clear whether it’s gristle from the actual hobo, or gristle from something he had in his pocket. Either way, I think we can all agree on one thing — blech.”

    I really should login and ascend. If I remember right I parked myself in limbo.