Archive for June, 2007
Neurologists and the porn balloon
On monday, my appointment with the neurologist FINALLY came around (I made this appointment back in January or February). I expected that he’d give me the usual welcome, tell me about what he does, etc. Instead, I got my most favorite thing in the world…
… a nerve induction test!
Yes indeed, those are all kinds of fun! For those who aren’t familiar with them, let me explain what they do to you:
- Place electrodes on your body and then hit you from various places with a cattle prod. They measure the amount of time it takes electricity to travel from point A (the cattle prod) to point B (the electrode taped to your body). Make sure to place the electrode and cattle prod as far apart as possible for maximum enjoyment!
- Stick needles into your body at two points, making sure to sink them deep into the muscles. Apply more electricity, laugh as the patient goes stiff.
So yes indeed… good times all around!!
They were able to do two things for me though. They quantified that I do indeed have all kinds of fucked up goodness for a nervous system, and that my back problems and feet problems are not related (they’re two separate and distinct issues) . So now I have to fast on friday night and go in for blood tests early saturday morning.
w00t!!
On a much brighter note, I saw my dentist today. My teeth are in perfect health!
Oh… and you’re probably wondering about the porn balloon in the title of this post. Let me explain!
Yesterday, I found a blue balloon in my front yard. It had obviously contained helium at one point, but now was just sitting on the ground. There was also writing all over it.
As a child, I remember a few times when we would write notes on (or attach them to) a helium balloon and then release it into the sky, hoping that someone, somewhere, would find it and let me know where it ended up. Not one phone call or letter ever came from such events.
The balloon I found was slightly different from the ones I sent out as a child. While the handwriting on it is obviously from someone young, I’m pretty sure I never used the phrase “you are stupid – fuck you if you find this bollon.” (actual spelling)
Here’s a few thumbnails (click for an 800×600 view in a new tab/window)
My favorite parts are the transvestite and the large breasted person saying “sagse” (I’m assuming that’s supposed to be “sexy”).
I do know that balloons like this have a maximum range of 200 – 250 miles (depending in temperature, wind, etc), and our winds predominately prevail from the west, so this could have originated as far away as Seattle. I’d be more willing to bet that it came from Moses Lake, or perhaps as close as Airway Heights.
No matter where it started it’s trip, it ended in my front yard, and found it’s way to the internet.
2 comments71% say you suck
Polls show that President Bush has an approval rating of just 29%. What does this tell us?
It proves that 29% of the people polled haven’t got a damn clue as to what’s going on.
29% is about what Lincoln got, from the South, during the Civil War (ok… maybe not… but that was kinda funny). The President, of course, looks at the numbers and thinks to himself “Golly…. the American people love me but hate the Democrat ruled Congress!” (Congress only has a 27% approval rating).
Perhaps he should be made aware of the following: People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Government should be afraid of its people.
And now for something completely different: If Fox (Faux) News were around for all of history, they may have covered it like this: Read more
1 commentDusting off the keyboard and writing a post
It’s been a few days since I’ve written a post, and unlike some people, I’ve taken it upon myself to put something on this page (love ya, Eve!).
My back has been kicking my ass as of late. I’ve been taking my medications, but they only reduce the pain… it never goes away. My feet are the biggest issue. They feel as if my shoes are full of broken glass, and each step is very painful. I’ve been seeing a psychologist who specializes in chronic pain, but that hasn’t helped at all (he released me yesterday, saying there was nothing else he can do). I do, however, have an appointment with a neurologist on the 25th of this month (I made that appointment in January or February), so there is hope on the horizon.
I’m hoping that they’ll give me a pain pump. They surgically implant it under your skin and it injects micro grams of medication directly into the spine, 24 hours a day. I’ve been told by people who have it that it’s amazing. Hopefully, I’ll be a candidate for getting one.
In the interim, I’ve asked my doctor to up my prescriptions. I’m allowed have 1 or 2 oxycodone every 4 hours, but am only given enough to have 3 per day. Unfortunately, it takes 4 – 6 of them during the day (plus my morphine) to keep the pain bearable. This means that I can’t take any on the weekends or else I’ll run out long before I’m allowed to refill. I only take them at work, and just deal with it in the evenings and weekends, neither of which are very fun.
But enough with the whining….
The other morning, I was having a cigarette in the smoking area. One of the engineers here, Dan, came out and said “Good Morning” to me. I replied “Mornin’ Cap’n!”
“Capitan?” He replied.
“No… Cap’n… C-A-P-N” I said.
“What’s that stand for?” he asked.
“Um…. Completely asinine, possibly neurotic” was my reply.
He seemed to think that was a good answer.
Oh… and I programed my Cisco IP phone so that I have a direct dial to God. Here’s the proof:
1 commentVacation and Graduation
Today is the last day of my mini-vacation, and what a week it’s been!
My wife and I took the week off to prepare for our eldest son’s graduation from high school. We spent the week cleaning the house from top to bottom, decorating, and preparing food for the party. On Saturday, it all came together and we had a blast!
The graduation ceremony was held at the Opera House here in Spokane. We went in about a half hour early and found that all the seats on the lower level were gone, so we sat in the balcony. At least my wife and I were able to get into the front row there. We also took a ton of pictures (which didn’t turn out so good), there’s a slide show here (opens in a new tab/window).
Afterward, we had a huge party at our place! Good food, family, and friends always make for a great time!
A huge thank you from Michael to everyone who sent a gift (they were most generous!!). He’s sending out “thank you” cards today.
4 comments